


What's The Fun In Being Easy?

by CannibalisticCutie



Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse), Resident Evil - All Media Types
Genre: Arguing, Boners, Canon-Typical Violence, Cussing, Light Masochism, M/M, Non-Consensual Kissing, Stabbing, so much cussing . . sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-01
Updated: 2017-02-01
Packaged: 2018-09-21 07:45:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9538397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CannibalisticCutie/pseuds/CannibalisticCutie
Summary: Ethan and Lucas argue. Then they argue some more. Then Ethan realizes that maybe he should've just ran off while he could.





	

**Author's Note:**

> hey! this is super self-indulgent and i am so sorry. cheers  
> 

        “Yer dumber than you look, an' that's sayin' something!”

        Ethan huffs, shoulders slumping at his side. This shit was all so awfully convoluted, and he didn't have any of his supplies with him, so what really was the best way to go about solving these puzzles?  
        “At least I don't look like the product of a brother and si-”  
        “Don't you dare fuckin' say it, boy.”  
        “Oh, so it's obvious, is it?” Ethan huffs a tired, unenthused laugh at the flustered grunts echoing from the system installed in the corner of the room.  
        “You keep that shit up and maybe I'll just come kill you with my bare hands! Wouldn't even have t' wait for your dumb ass to solve my game!” Lucas bellows from the speaker, and for a moment Ethan wonders just how nearby he might actually be.

        “I could fuck you up before you got the chance to even hit me.” Ethan taunts, but gets only an exaggerated laugh in response. It goes on longer than it needs to, and as always, leaves Ethan confused and angry. Lucas snorts as he tries to calm himself down enough to retort.  
        “Not without your precious toys, you couldn't! Left all that shit in the box, remember?” he teases, and Ethan feels a pang of shame in his chest. Lucas certainly did have the upper hand, even if just the slightest, although Ethan was still stubborn as ever. “Ugh, really though,” Lucas starts, sounding much more bored than before. “How long is this gonna take?”  
        “As long as it takes, dipshit.”  
        “Yer sure one to talk, Ethan!” he does that dorky, somewhat gross snort again. “You still got your girly to look out for.”

        Ethan pauses. Damn, he'd really let his ego cloud over his whole reason for even being here, huh? He takes a moment to promptly feel like fucking shit for forgetting about his kidnapped wife. Good going on that one, buddy.  
        “She's strong. I may not be the fastest, but I will save her, and I swear to fucking god if I find you've done anything to her -” Ethan growls, but finds himself quickly trailing off. The words are strong, but the passion is certainly forced.  
        “I wouldn't be making any bold claims about anything there, lover-boy.” Ethan can hear the man's shaky, wet breathing as he audibly leans closer to whatever mic setup he has. “You don't know what your girl's been through. You don't know how she's been fairing, you don't know how sick she is, an' you sure as fuck don't know who she is.” the words are thick with contempt. His voice calms as he leans away from the intercom. “Ahhh, not to mention you'll probably never see her again at the rate yer going. You've been idling for a good,” he pauses, humming to fill the silence. “'bout three minutes, now!”

        Ethan shakes his head, having not realized he'd been standing slumped against the wall for so long. Fuck, maybe Lucas was right about a few things here. Ethan moves away from the room to begin figuring things out again, having left off with a pen jabbed into his abdomen. He had paused to let the pain subside, though all that had happened was a bad exchange to worsen his anxiety about Mia. And Zoe, he supposes, although he doesn't exactly know her. Then again, he can't say he knows Mia that well anymore either. Three years, and apparently quite a few goddamn secrets.  
        “You know, if you decide to take a year to finish this room, I could always occupy myself here. Wouldn't even have to move much, with Mia not far off from here.” he doesn't laugh when taunting this time. Ethan ponders if that's a sign of sincerity, or insincerity. Either way, he's boiling mad from the threat.  
        “Fucking pig.” he spits, before staring down at the floor quietly in an attempt to clear his mind. 

 

        There's smoke, lots of fucking smoke, billowing out from the hole in the wall. He finds himself both content and disappointed with the lack of heavy flames. Easier for himself, but also easier on Lucas. Ethan spies a leg kicking against the floor from the corner of his eye. By the looks of it, the guy is panicking to pick himself up off the floor, push himself away from the door, anything, anything. Ethan stomps forward into the room, noticing the odd chunks of wood having blasted across the room, namely the one sitting amidst the smoking box TV screen on the desk. Lucas looks up at him with wide eyes, angry and flustered. Ethan takes a few steps forward before stomping down onto his shin, earning a loud exclamation from the man.  
        Lucas curls in on himself before flipping over to his hands and knees in an attempt to bolt for the door, but a swift kick to the ass throws him flat against the floor once more. The sound of heavy breathing and crackling wood is all that fills the room as Ethan digs his heel into the man's tailbone. Lucas grunts and shimmies, but the pressure against the lower end of his spine keeps him twitching in an odd way that makes it hard to move his legs properly. A pack of smokes falls out of his pocket, and Ethan is quick to pick them up from Lucas' side. A good starting prize, he might say. It's been fucking hours since he's had a smoke, and now was as good of a time as any, he supposes. He shuffles one out of the half empty, dirt-covered pack and awkwardly shuffles out an old match to light it. He taps his foot absentmindedly against Lucas' rear end.  
        “Must say, this is rather anticlimactic.”

        Lucas growls, kicking and pushing back against Ethan's foot. “Well what the fuck are you gonna do now, huh?” he tempts him, huffing a forced and spiteful laugh before turning and spitting messily in Ethan's direction. “You still ain't got shit!”

        Ethan presses a few exaggerated taps to Lucas. “Well, I got a nice pair of boots for walking.” he seeks out the small lump of rounded tailbone through Lucas' hoodie using the front of his boot, rolling the skin over it teasingly. “Amongst other things.” and with this, he lifts his leg to stomp down onto it, earning a stunned grunt from the man.  
        “You're a real fuckin' stupid bitch if you think giving me minor back problems is enough to keep me down.” Lucas spits. Something about his voice seems taunting, and Ethan wonders if Lucas knows just how stupid he's actually being. Then again, from experience, Ethan could guess that giving up and rolling over just isn't a Baker thing to do. Not in this rotted and dead state, anyways. He must say, however, that Lucas seems the most coherent of the bunch, excluding Zoe. Kudos. He kicks the toe of his boot up Lucas' spine, growling as he relishes in the drag of the bones against his foot. Shit, this kid's scrawny. Likely the aftermath of eating nothing but rotted scraps for god knows how long, Ethan thinks, recalling the scenes of the multiple kitchen areas in the house.  
        “And yet, you're still down?”  
        He pulls his foot back, and Lucas is quick to scramble off of his stomach. He makes a mistake in leaning on his left elbow in the process however, as it leaves him in the perfect position for Ethan to lift his leg high and kick him over with the side of his boot. Lucas is practically foaming at the mouth when he finds himself laying on his back, Ethan's boot now pressing heavily against his belly. The pressure on his muscles is an awful stretch, though of course, Lucas is used to pain. Shit happens all the time in the Baker house these days. Ethan puffs his cigarette as Lucas seems to almost let him hold him down. Even though he's the least avid fighter of the Baker family, more focused on contraptions and set-ups, Ethan would have expected just a bit more fight.  
        “Where's Mia?”  
        “In the fucking swamp for all I care.”  
        “Nuh-uh Luke, this was your party, after all. You'd know, and you will tell me.”  
        “Not that hard to find her, promising the fact you don't got the object permanence of a fuckin' baby.” Lucas grins. “All you gotta do is the follow the sound of her being a shit-faced smartass.”

        Ethan is down on him before he can comprehend his own actions, shuffling to straddle the man as the cigarette dangles from his lips. A fist raises, and comes down quickly to collide with his cheekbone. Lucas huffs a giggle in response, squirming beneath the other man.  
        “Ooh, Ethan, how defensive of you!” he teases in a wild tone. Ethan's hands find their way to his neck, tightening slightly and only threatening to continue. He stares down into the man's face, glaring so hard it almost hurts his own face.  
        “Where.”  
        Lucas seems occupied glancing around the room, and dumb, dumb Ethan doesn't think much of it until Lucas' arm is swinging at him with lightning speed.

        At first, he isn't sure what's happened. It hurts, he knows that much. He leans back off of Lucas, not enough to release his hips from beneath him, but enough to get a good look at himself. Lucas' hand recoils, but the sharp, hollowing pain remains somewhere in the lower section of his chest. Further inspection shows that a large, rusty nail had been jammed into him from between Lucas' knuckles.  
        The man giggles and continues to squirm against him, seeming to be having too much fun for his own good. It were as though getting into fights was just a fine way to get your rocks off in the Baker family, and perhaps it was.  
        Ethan toys with the flat top of the nail, doing his best to twist it out of his gut, before finally managing to slide it out with a slick, disgusting noise. He tosses it across the room before pressing his palm against the hole. His cigarette falls from his lips as he studies the way chunks of rust mix with his blood, although his attention is diverted to Lucas as he thrashes a bit from the burn of the fallen cig. Ethan's gut feels somehow even fucking tighter as he feels a growing hardness poking at his ass cheek.

        Lucas swipes the tobacco ash off of his hoodie, before looking up at Ethan with knowing eyes. The smile that stretches across his face is vulgar, and downright fucking disgusting.  
        Ethan moves to withdraw from the straddling position out of shock, but is quickly pulled back down, Lucas' hands tight around his elbows as he pulls him closer. The pressure this puts against his wound is an awful ache, and he grimaces as the other breathes wet, hot air against his cheek. Lucas smirks and looks down, eyeing the way the blood drips from the small but deep wound, satisfied with the way it stains his own lap.  
        “You know, fer someone so concerned with pretty lil wifey, you sure do seem to love stickin' around with me.” he whispers before taking Ethan into a wide liplock, tongue quick to invade the other man's mouth. Ethan gags against him and does his best to pull back, without much luck. Lucas moves away with exaggerated movements, a few strings of spit connecting between their lower lips. He grins wildly before leaning back in to lick them away, his tongue vulgarly lapping at Ethan's mouth. He pulls back, gasping, before letting his arms go so as to let the other man fall back.  
        “I mean, what's this gotta be, a ten minute delay? Bet Mia is missin' you somethin' fierce right about now, pretty boy.”

**Author's Note:**

> lucas' mouth is probably real gross. lucas in general is probably real gross
> 
> mouthwash bls


End file.
